I am not a “cool” kid and I am not super good-looking either. There are few things about me that are actually interesting but those help me achieve simply things in life and just make an image for myself. What I am trying to say is there is very less about me that attracts people towards me and more traits that drive people away. I am aware of that which is why even though I shouldn’t have any faith in people left, I still trust every single person I know with all my heart.
My strength is my weakness. I care for someone and trust someone immensely no matter who they are- to an extent. I don’t judge that person and I don’t expect anything from them. But I just never understand why I am constantly getting hurt or mis-treated if I am so nice to someone.
I have lived in many countries and moved around a lot and so I should be used to making new friends all the time. The fact is I love meeting new people and I know how to handle situations like this. i make friends and I am privileged that I am friends with these people. But yet, still whenever I fall back, there is no one to catch me because all the people who I thought were my friends are just people who want to use me. Everyone is nice and friendly and all BFF with you until they are done extracting resources from you and they throw you away like you are some crap that got stuck on their shoe.
I know there are flaws in me but I find more flaws in everyone else. Truth is, EVERYBODY IS An ASSHOLE. Even I am. But I have some dignity to step down when I need to.I have met people who think the world revolves around them or they are the only with issues. I know people who are so freaking self-centered and its sad because they are so narrow minded and selfish. They are never going to accomplish anything in life. I know someone who doesn’t even the have the self-respect to apologize after a mistake. Like, you hurt me, you ruin my whole plan and screw up everything and have the nerve to stand up and face me like you own the damn world. Saying the word sorry doesn’t hurt your image or you, in fact, you might feel better and not live in guilt the whole time.
You know what pisses me of the most, people just crave for all the wrong things. They are guided by the wrong people and so have the wrong ideologies within them. This leads to them making mistakes but even worse, it makes them think they are better than everyone else. The reality is they are JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. Everyone thinks now is the age when you need to live your life- high school. Not exactly, now is the age you do one mistake and your whole life is ruined. I have seen real-life examples and trust me- it’s the worst feeling ever to know you have failed everything, everybody and most importantly yourself.
Now, reading all this, nothing makes sense. I know. It’s a rant and I am angry. But the fact that you have read all this means a lot to me. Thanks for understanding if you get what I am trying to say. For those who think I am being an idiot, take your head out of your butt and stick it in the trash because no body cares.